Sabines Voyage Of SelfDiscovery

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Her lawyer Roger reveals that Parsifal, whose real name is Guy Fetters, has a mother and two sisters in Nebraska. He had set up a trust fund for them. Sabine chooses to talk to Mrs. Fetters. She is curious about Parsifal’s past in spite of
Herself. She wonders about Parsifal’s desire to bury his past when he lied to her about his parents being dead. Sabine’s parents have advised her not to speak to the Fetters in her grief but Sabine chooses otherwise. She begins to exercise her free will, having lived and obeyed Parsifal for over twenty-two years. She wants to discover who Parsifal was because she had loved him and still loves him. When Parsifal was alive, Sabine ‘never remembered her dreams, or maybe she didn’t have them.’ (Patchett 8). After Parsifal’s death, Sabine dreamed of Phan, her husband’s lover, instead of Parsifal. She also managed to remember her dream. These significant changes occur after Parsifal’s death and can be interpreted as the outcomes of being freed from her long relationship with Parsifal. In her subconscious mind, Sabine knows that she has been closer to Phan than Parsifal, which was why she dreamt of Phan. Sabine slowly discovers her own self-deceit when she believed that she loved Parsifal the best.
Sabine stayed faithfully in love with Parsifal even after she found out that he preferred men instead of women. She could not explain her choice. She told her perplexed parents that. ‘"You don’t always get everything you want,"’. (Patchett 10). At this point, Sabine is not aware of her real sexual preferences. She does not mind not sharing intimacy with Parsifal but she cannot explain it. After Phan’s death, Parsifal decides to marry Sabine because he said he loves Sabine and wants to make her his widow. Sabine chooses to sleep in her home on her first night of bereavement. She wanted to be free from her parents. ‘She wanted to be in her own home tonight. Phan’s home and then Parsifal’s home and now her home.’ (Patchett 9). Sabine begins to discover her new sense of belonging in her inherited home.
Sabine discovers that she is secretly responsible for Parsifal’s death when she dreams that Phan visits her. Phan tells her that he has granted her wish for Parsifal not to suffer. Phan himself being already dead, possesses some supernatural power to evoke the death of Parsifal. Sabine reveals that she wishes for Parsifal to be alive even if he had only two more years to live. Sabine blames herself for unwittingly wishing for Parsifal’s death.
Sabine tells her lawyer, Roger, that she is willing to talk to Parsifal’s family because she wants to discover Parsifal’s past. She affirmed it twice with Roger. (Patchett 30). Sabine feels that she would like answers behind the mystery of Guy Fetters alias Petrie, alias Parsifal. Her parents had even advised her against speaking to his family but Sabine shows her strong will by asserting her decision. Sabine’s parents supported her even as they objected to her choices in her career, life with Parsifal and marriage with Parsifal. Sabine is curious as to why Parsifal and his family abandoned one another. She wants to show Mrs. Fetters how much Parsifal was loved. She does not know why she volunteered to pick up the Fetters at the airport when they visited. Sabine is in bereavement and feels that she does some uncharacteristic things. She discovers how repulsive